Identity Essay

The Empty Side Of Me

The sounds of a rushed mother and a smelly dog wake me for my second day of school. As I am done getting ready me and my mom decided to eat doughnuts. As we drive, I start to think to myself if I had known who I was. I started to list out what I know about myself in my head. I knew that electronics were affecting my life dramatically and food was the only thing that could make me happy when I am sad. I also began to think of my dream job as being a film editor and I do not know if I will be able to accomplish my dream. I start to wonder if I should start to worry about my dream career or just wait until it was necessary to start preparing. Will life take my opportunities away from me to soon? Will I be able to succeed in the future? I start to lose my concentration as we arrive at the doughnut shop. As I enter, I smell the fresh smell of doughnuts and coffee. We get our doughnuts and head straight for the car and start to eat inside. While I was eating I start to think again and list more stuff in my head. I know how it is to be loved and I also know that I am a latino. I know that I don’t have any religious beliefs, but I also know that I am still empty somewhere inside of me. I somewhat know who I am because I have knowledge of who I am and what I am capable of, but I will always change every second of my life.

My mother starts the car and heads to my school to drop me off. I remember a quote that a friend had once showed me, “Though our past may shape us, it’s our future that makes us”- Collette Scott. I start to realize that I am empty because I do not know what will happen in the future. Where would I be in the next ten years of life? Would I have survived all that life has rubbed against face in 10 years? These are all things I wont ever know until I reach that age. The future is what has made me empty and until I know more of me, I will still be as empty as today. I do not know if I will like the same things when I am older. I do not know what my strengths and weaknesses are going to be in 10 years. I could have a career that I hate in that amount of time. I will not know myself completely until the future arrives. My past is what I assume to be, in reality it was just one step to getting to know myself better.

I arrive at school and go to the spot where I go to when I am early. I think more about how I can change with in 10 years. I wonder if I will know myself more than I know now. Would I have changed my dream job to something better? Would I be able to go to college that would help me reach my goals? That is not for me to know now, I know the basics of myself but I don’t know everything. Life is what makes me who I am whether it be from the past, present, or my future. I will always change every minute, hour, and day. It can be a good thing that I do not know myself as much right now, maybe it will be easier to know more and more as I go on.